Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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