UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
