I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Boobs are out for the taking
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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