forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
