omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Randomize
