Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
