The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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