he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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