omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
