YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
