Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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