From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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