i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
