I am puke
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
