Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
