my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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