My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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