why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
