Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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