I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
false alarm. still invincible.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
