I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
