when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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