Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
NoShamevember. You game?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
