we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
