your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Randomize
