I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
