Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
my nose is crying tears of wow.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
