Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
