i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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