I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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