Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
