Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
