oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
