i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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