the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I deserve this hangover.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
