last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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