i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
