Small penises have feelings too.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
