omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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