i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
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