After last night, I could never be a politician.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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