we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
