Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
