so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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