Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
