very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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