So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
handjob tips. give me some.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
