watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
