we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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