You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
