she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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